16 years ago
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Comic
I'd like to take this time to point out that "Non-Photo Blue" pencils don't work like they claim. That is all.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Keeping it Real on the Road
Our society thrives on individuality and customization. Nowadays it is really easy to make something uniquely “yours” right out of the box, since so many products now offer various laser engravings or custom finishes that guarantee to let everyone around you know who you are just by looking at your iPod case. But before all of these advances in marketing, there was the vanity license plate. Imaging trying to define your entire being in only seven characters; every choice must be perfect so that you may one day step back from your vehicle and say with confidence: “This is MY car everyone. Check me out.” 
I love vanity plates. So I would like to take a moment to talk about what I think are the most interesting categories of these monuments to the inner workings of the motorist’s brain.
1. The ID Badge
Let’s face it. There are a lot of different car makes and models in the modern industrial world. And it’s a good thing. But that leaves the average person with a lot of logos and such to memorize, and not all of us have great memory for symbols. Thankfully, some car owners are considerate enough to let us know exactly what kind of car they are driving so we don’t have to bother looking 2 inches above the plate itself. However, it seems that only wealthier people are so considerate, as I have never seen a plate that says MYCIVIC or AVOLVO.
2. The Spoiled-er
Some people’s parents just love them more than yours do. In a world so full of hate and conflict, such love and reckless spending need to be memorialized. Where better than on the back of the brand new 2008 Celica that little Christina got for her 16th birthday? This plate makes a statement, and that statement is “please don’t ever hire or date me.”
3. The Tech-Savvy Motorist
People who know computers are in really high demand these days. Being proficient in the internet-connected world is something to be proud of, but not in conventional human language. No, the classy way to display your prowess on the tubes is to order up one of these beauties. Any combination of phrases such as LOL, OMG, WTF, ORLY, KTHX, P(/O)WND, NOOB, or GOATSE will identify you to other genius nerds while properly alienating the rest of the plebeians in meatspace.
4. The “You Had To Be There”
Remember that time in high school you were sitting at the lunch table and Griff said that totally hilarious thing? Sure you do. In fact, it was so funny that you just couldn’t stand to let it disappear into the ether with time. Immortalizing Griff’s wit on a tag just made sense. Sure, people anywhere but your hometown might look at you like you’re an idiot while you’re driving around, but when you finally see Griff again at Christmas it’ll all be worth it.
5. The Puzzler
It has been clinically proven that doing puzzles daily stimulates the brain and wards off the scourge of senility and Alzheimer’s disease. I’m assuming that the people who own these plates must be doctors, and are doing their part to keep us healthy by leaving us to wonder all day what their license plate said. Now if only there were some research into the effects of spending six hours straining to figure out what a CLOB1TZ is.
6. The Missionary
The church has been sending people out to preach to others since its inception. It can be difficult to find time to talk to people about Jesus when you have a job and a 45 minute commute, but the DMV is always there to help in spiritual matters. That’s what
Monday, December 29, 2008
An update of sorts.
Well aren't I just the neglectful type.
The fact that I can check several blogs on this same site every day and never remember to update my own is a testament to the absolute and utter ruin that my memory and motivation have become. I am become sloth, destroyer of afternoons and eater of many, many donuts.
I know not many people read this, but for those who do, here is a quick update on my goings on (I stole the idea from Black Smoke Factory...sorry Matt) .
The theme of the month is insecurity, I think. Still looking for a job, but the current economic situation pretty much only leaves nursing and paralegal jobs around here. not much good for a kid with an English degree. The one job I had some confidence in and was holding out hope for was filled without my knowledge, so I am now entirely without prospects. I'd apply at Starbucks but not even they are hiring right now. Damn you America! If only you people would pay off your credit cards on time... oh well. One other thing that's holding me back in the job search right now is the fact that I have a two-month commitment to a show coming up and I need most evenings off, something which a lowly service job is reluctant (and usually unable) to provide. And once that's over, I still don't know exactly what I want to do now that my dream job's dried up. Here's hoping, I guess.
Speaking of the show, that's the one thing that's got me in all sorts of twisty brain shapes at the moment. I'm super psyched to be doing MoJo at Dad's Garage Theater this February. The show is great, and the cast and crew include some of the most talented people I've ever met in my life. I can't wait to see how it comes out, because I'm sure it will be great... but there is one problem. I haven't acted in any serious way since I was in elementary school. Since then I've dicked around in many a project but most of it came down to improv and very short written things. This thing is about eighty pages of dialogue that gives Clerks a run for its money in sheer volume. Anyone can memorize lines given the right amount of time, but it's just a lot of pressure now that schedules and money and other people are involved. I hope I'm just being "green" about it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated by this thing. That being said, still way excited. Come check it out as long as you're not my parents.
Oh, and CAMPUS Strike Force has been going well. There's some rough spots here and there, but overall I'm glad I got the chance to do it and I think it'll be a good lesson in how to do (and not do) improv in that kind of setting once all is said and done. Thanks to anyone who's seen the show.
That's about it, aside from stupid things like New Year's Resolutions coming up and various other stuff. I'll do that in another entry. Till then!
[end transmission]
The fact that I can check several blogs on this same site every day and never remember to update my own is a testament to the absolute and utter ruin that my memory and motivation have become. I am become sloth, destroyer of afternoons and eater of many, many donuts.
I know not many people read this, but for those who do, here is a quick update on my goings on (I stole the idea from Black Smoke Factory...sorry Matt) .
The theme of the month is insecurity, I think. Still looking for a job, but the current economic situation pretty much only leaves nursing and paralegal jobs around here. not much good for a kid with an English degree. The one job I had some confidence in and was holding out hope for was filled without my knowledge, so I am now entirely without prospects. I'd apply at Starbucks but not even they are hiring right now. Damn you America! If only you people would pay off your credit cards on time... oh well. One other thing that's holding me back in the job search right now is the fact that I have a two-month commitment to a show coming up and I need most evenings off, something which a lowly service job is reluctant (and usually unable) to provide. And once that's over, I still don't know exactly what I want to do now that my dream job's dried up. Here's hoping, I guess.
Speaking of the show, that's the one thing that's got me in all sorts of twisty brain shapes at the moment. I'm super psyched to be doing MoJo at Dad's Garage Theater this February. The show is great, and the cast and crew include some of the most talented people I've ever met in my life. I can't wait to see how it comes out, because I'm sure it will be great... but there is one problem. I haven't acted in any serious way since I was in elementary school. Since then I've dicked around in many a project but most of it came down to improv and very short written things. This thing is about eighty pages of dialogue that gives Clerks a run for its money in sheer volume. Anyone can memorize lines given the right amount of time, but it's just a lot of pressure now that schedules and money and other people are involved. I hope I'm just being "green" about it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated by this thing. That being said, still way excited. Come check it out as long as you're not my parents.
Oh, and CAMPUS Strike Force has been going well. There's some rough spots here and there, but overall I'm glad I got the chance to do it and I think it'll be a good lesson in how to do (and not do) improv in that kind of setting once all is said and done. Thanks to anyone who's seen the show.
That's about it, aside from stupid things like New Year's Resolutions coming up and various other stuff. I'll do that in another entry. Till then!
[end transmission]
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