Exercise

Has anyone heard of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest? Basically, it is a competition in which writers are challenged to present the first line of the worst novel ever written. It sounds like something I would really like to take a stab at, so I'm going to use this post as a starting point and throw out a few.

"Punches rained down upon him, in much the same way that rain would."

"Leonard Casterfield had always been something of a stalwart man, the kind of man who could face a stampeding herd of buffalo and have each and every one of them in his bed by night's end."

"The arena fell into stark silence as the Ace of Spades hit the table; it was almost like a CRACK, but with a slight hint of THUMP."

"Coming to America is never easy, what with all the racists."

"Cursors flashed red across the terminals, bathing the room in a burgundescent glow and making every surface reminiscent of spilled grenadine."

"Hamilton had been to this beach before, the beach of his childhood, the beach where he first learned of love, of life and death, the beach where he had forged his character and destroyed his past... tumnescence set in upon him in time with the sun over the waves."

"You can find anything you want in the right place is Carbide City, whether it's a cheap high to get through the day or a full English breakfast."

"Flames licked the roof tiles as men scattered from the mess hall... this was not a part of Boot Camp."

"The Mother Superior cowered againt the side of the building, waiting for La Eme to unleash their signature hail of bullets."


...I could do this all day.